OFFICIAL FARSCAPE CONVENTION 2007
"The Final Frellin' Farewell"
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA
Fri., Sat. & Sun. November 2-4, 2007
Burbank Airport Hilton and Towers
2500 Hollywood Way
Here's the lyrics to SHIPPER HELL as performed by Arlo Williams at the 2007 Farscape talent contest.
Shipper Hell (sung to the tune of Summer Lovin’ from Grease)
Lyrics by Arlo Williams
SHOT THROUGH A WORMHOLE WHEN HE ARRIVED
JOHN AND HIS MODULE BARELY SURVIVED
THEN HE SAW AERYN LOCKED IN THAT CELL
SHE BEAT HIM UP – HE TOOK IT WELL
SHIPPER HELL
THAT’S WHEN WE KNEW
SHIPPER HELL
UNTIL SHE GETS A CLUE
COMMA, COMMA, COMMA
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
WE WANT AERYN TO KNOW
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
CUPID’S STRUCK HER A BLOW
UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, YEAH!
Men: That’s not what guys want.
WITH SCI FI CHANNEL, YOU’D THINK THEY WOULD KNOW
WE WANT SPACE BATTLES IN EVERY SHOW
ALIEN MONSTERS, SPACE BABES GALORE
ROMANTIC STUFF, THAT’S SUCH A BORE
SHIPPER HELL
DON’T WAKE US UP
SHIPPER HELL
MAKES US WANT TO THROW-UP
COMMA COMMA COMMA
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
WE MIGHT WELCOME THE MOOD
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
ONLY IF AERYN’S NUDE
UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, YEAH!
Women: You guys are sick. Besides, you can’t call this a relationship!
FIRST TWO STEPS FORWARD, THEN ONE STEP BACK
THEY ONLY KISS WHEN THEY ARE UNDER ATTACK
THE WORDS “I LOVE YOU” FILLS US WITH DREAD
‘CAUSE WHEN THEY SAY IT, THEN ONE ENDS UP DEAD
SHIPPER HELL
HERE’S OUR BIG BEEF
SHIPPER HELL’S
ONLY CAUSES US GRIEF
COMMA, COMMA, COMMA
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
WE WANT THIS ROMANCE TO THRIVE
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
WE WANT THEM BOTH TO SURVIVE
UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH, UN EH, UH HUH <SIGH!>
Men: Oh man, let’s just dump the mushy stuff.
WHEN JOHN AND AERYN ARE HAVING A FIGHT
WE KNOW THE OUTCOME WILL RUIN OUR NIGHT
FIRST THERE’S THE ANGST, THEN THE GUILT AND THE TEARS
THAT’S WHEN WE HIDE, STICK OUR HEADS UP OUR REARS
SHIPPER HELL
MAN, WE CAN’T COPE
SHIPPER HELL
WHEN IT’S FARSCAPE THE SOAP
COMMA COMMA COMMA
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
WE CAN’T BE MACHO, TOUGH GUYS
SHIPPER HELL, CAN’T YOU TELL
NOT WITH TEARS IN OUR EYES
(All)
THIRD SEASON’S ENDED AND IT’S BEEN INSANE
WE BLAME THE WRITERS,
HEY! YOU CAN’T COMPLAIN.
(Women)
ONE CRICHTON’S DEAD.
(Men - Spoken)“Yeah!”
BUT HE HAD GREAT SEX.
(Women - Spoken): “Oh yeah.”
(All)
WHAT CAN YOU DO,
AT LEAST IT AIN’T LEXX!
SHIPPER HELL
WE’RE OUT OF LUCK
SHIPPER HELL
MAKES US WANT TO YELL….
FFFF…..RELL.
SHIPPER HELL, SHIPPER HELL!
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